MEMO 2025-0415-AAPRIL 15, 2025
THE GREAT SPITTING EPIDEMIC
AARBAA study finds U.S. roads are the largest outdoor spittoon on record: 0.041 fl oz expectorate per rider-mile. The Bureau does not round.
RECORDS DIVISION
OFFICIAL RECORDS — MEMORANDA LOG
AARBAA BATTLE REPORTS — Updates from the front lines of our fight against road cyclist entitlement
THE FOLLOWING MEMORANDA ARE ENTERED INTO THE PUBLIC RECORD IN REVERSE ORDER OF FILING.
MEMO 2025-0401-AAPRIL 1, 2025
New Study Reveals Dedicated Cycling Infrastructure Benefits Everyone
New study: separated bike lanes cut car-bike collisions 78% and speed traffic 15%. AARBAA enters the finding into the record without comment.
MEMO 2025-0322-AMARCH 22, 2025
THE GREAT SPANDEX CENSUS
72 hours across 15 intersections: 1,247 signalized non-stops logged, 892 at stop controls. Advocacy groups have requested a redaction.
MEMO 2025-0320-AMARCH 20, 2025
OPERATION COFFEE SHOP LIBERATION
The corner café is back in general use. Mean dwell time logged at 4.5 hours per $3 coffee. The Office of Premises Occupancy has notes.
MEMO 2025-0318-AMARCH 18, 2025
VICTORY AT OAK STREET
Oak Street's $3.2M bike lane is now a closed line item. 147 parking spaces retained; the council vote is entered into the record, 7–2.
MEMO 2025-0315-AMARCH 15, 2025
AARBAA Unleashes CHAOS at City Council
75 members in matching shirts filed public comment; the proposed bike-lane budget fell 62%. The Bureau neither confirms nor denies the throat-clearing.
MEMO 2025-0308-AMARCH 8, 2025
CIVILIZATION 101: Teaching Cyclists Human Decency
AARBAA's road-courtesy workshop drew 200 attendees and moved measured road intelligence by 0.03%. The Bureau records incremental progress.
MEMO 2025-0301-AMARCH 1, 2025
STRATEGIC VICTORY: Downtown Bike Lane Proposal CRUSHED
The proposed 12-mile bike lane network was reduced to a much more sensible 2-mile connector between existing paths, saving taxpayers millions...
SEALED
MEMORANDUM WITHHELD FROM PUBLIC RELEASE UNDER RECORDS RETENTION SCHEDULE 7.
MEMO 2025-0228-AFEBRUARY 28, 2025
LEGISLATIVE WARFARE: Bill 477 DEMOLISHES Cyclist Entitlement
Bill 477 is now enrolled law. The cycling lobby's objections were entered into the record as performance art and retained per Schedule 7.
MEMO 2024-1215-ADECEMBER 15, 2024
OPERATION RUSH HOUR: Exposing Cyclist Traffic Violations
Six-month survey, 50 intersections, 3,000+ violations logged. The Bureau files the rush-hour record whether or not it is read.
MEMO 2024-1210-ADECEMBER 10, 2024
MEMBERSHIP MILESTONE: AARBAA Reaches 15,000 Members
AARBAA passes 15,000 members, up 300% in a year, with chapters in 47 states. The Bureau logs the growth and orders additional filing capacity.
MAILING LIST FILINGS: SEE FORM AAR-102 BELOW.